POLITICS, WHAT A MESS!
By Ninetalesuk.
*Heavens*
(High in the heavens, Annabelle walked into a cloudy room where Sannabelle
lives. Sannabelle was sitting beside a radio. She got up when she saw
Annabelle. She noticed Annabelle was worried).
SANNABELLE:Aunt Anna! Whats the matter?
ANNABELLE:Something is very wrong, my dear neice. Next week is a voting
competition where the next person will take over my job.
SANNABELLE:What? Oh, no!
ANNABELLE:Its a rule and I don't want to talk about it.
SANNABELLE:Who-whos competing you?
ANNABELLE:My evil cousin, Belladonna! She was waiting for this moment!
SANNABELLE:Oh dear! Oh dear, dear, dear!!!! What are we going to do?
ANNABELLE:I CAN get my job back IF we can get help!
SANNABELLE:What do you mean?
ANNABELLE:For the new recruit, we must have a surporter. Belladonna has made
Carface her surporter. Every vote will go to the surporter. It a rule that
even the BOSS don't understand it!
SANNABELLE:Along with my mother's party, who else is going to get your job?
ANNABELLE:A Pokemon called Mr. Mime.
SANNABELLE:A-A Mr. Mime? Hes not a ghost yet!!!
ANNABELLE:Hes a DEAD Pokemon.
SANNABELLE:Oh....
ANNABELLE:Mr. Mime's surporter is a Abra. I don't know whats the party name
is though...
SANNABELLE:Anyone else?
ANNABELLE:Yes.... A Gengar... His surporter is a Machoke!
SANNABELLE:Two Pokemon and one evil whippet are going to take your title
away?!
ANNABELLE:Thats correct!
SANNABELLE:Something must be done!
ANNABELLE:There is! Tomorrow, we'll go to the cafe where we'll hold a
emergency meeting!
SANNABELLE:Good idea!
ANNABELLE:Charlie and the others might be doing something today.....
*Flea Bite Cafe*
(Everyone, except Slowbro was crowding around 12 barrels with a skull on each
of them. Charlie looked at Sasha).
CHARLIE:I can explain, Sasha...
SASHA:Begin, Chuckie!
CHARLIE:We found these barrels near the pool. We dunno what it is. One of
them was open, inside is some sort of yellow stuff.
SASHA:Well, what is this stuff?
(Ninetalesuk and Shaina walked up to them).
NINETALESUK:Whatever this stuff is, we better get rid of it!
SHAINA:Yeah! It could be dangerous!
(Slowbro came in and saw the barrels).
SLOWBRO:Hey, Ninetales! Whats that?
NINETALESUK:Why don't you smell one of them?
CHARLEON:Yeah! Maybe he knows what this stuff is...
VULLEN:Leave it out! Slowbro can't find his way out of a telephone box!
CHARLEON:Maybe he knows, maybe he knows. Have a go, Slowbro!
(Slowbro walked over to the opened barrel and sniffed it).
SLOWBRO:Its some sort of yellow stuff.
NINETALESUK:You were right, Charleon! Hes got it spot on!
VULLEN:No hesitation, was there? I'm telling you, brother. You MUST find a
way to get rid of it!
SLOWBRO:Maybe you can take it down to the 24-hour waste-depot at the end of
San Fransico.
NINETALESUK:Hey, not a bad idea, Slowbro!
SCAMP:We'll give you a medal later, Slowbro. On it will be 'First idea that a
Slowbro could ever had' medal.
NINETALESUK:Right! Can most of the men can take this?
ITCHY:Well, I'm not doing it!
NINETALESUK:Why not?
ITCHY:This stuff could be anything! It could be jet fuel or something!
NINETALESUK:No, its not jet fuel. It anti-freeze out of the Starship
Enterprize!
Jet fuel, oy.... Next thing you wanna know is this could be battery acid from
Thunderbird 3 next!
(Itchy shook his head).
ITCHY:All right, all right.. I'll do it.
NINETALESUK:Right!
SASHA:You can stay out of this, Ninetales.
NINETALESUK:Why?
SHAINA:You almost faint when you took a smell. It could effect Ninetales
Pokemon...
NINETALESUK:Well, I wanna help!
CHARLIE:Don't worry, Ninetales. We'll be okay.
NINETALESUK:All right... All right...
CHARLIE:We'll start off at 1800 hours!
ANGUS:Thats 2 months from now on, I think I will make it by that time!
CHARLIE:Its 6:00 at night, you fool!
ANGUS:Och, you should have said so.
CHARLIE:And, we'll be back at 00:00 hours.
ANGUS:What time is that?
CHARLIE:*Sigh* 12:00 in the morning!!
SCAMP:Will ya wait for me, Angel?
ANGEL:Sure, on the number 21 bus?
SCAMP:Ha ha(!)
*Outside Waste-Depot*
(Every men, except Ninetalesuk and Ninextalez, pushed the barrels to the
depot. They stopped when hey arrived. The gates were closed....)
BALTO:I don't belive it! Its closed!!!
SHANE:(Looks at his watch) Its only 18:45pm!!!
SLOWBRO:Its a bit late, isn't it?
CHARLIE:Wadda ya mean its a bit late? You said its open 24 hours a day!!!
SLOWBRO:Yeah. But, not at night.
(Everyone, except Angus and Slowbro, fell down to the floor. Flareon got up
and was angry).
FLAREON:So, what are we gonna to do then? We got 12 barrels of....
JOLTEON:Glowing paint!
FLAREON:Wha...?
JOLTEON:Look at your paws, Flareon! Look at it! Look at it!
(Flareon looked at his paw and saw they were glowing yellow).
FLAREON:Goodness, your right!
CHARLIE:Well, at least we know what the stuff is... The question is HOW do we
get it in that depot that is open 12 hours a day!!!
ANGUS:I have one...
CHARLIE:Oh no!
*Charlie and Sasha's home*
(Sasha was making breakfast for herself when Charlie came in).
SASHA:Charlie, where we ya?
CHARLIE:I just put the 12 barrels containing glowing liquid in the depot!
SASHA:But its 9:12am! You said you'll be back at midnight!
CHARLIE:I was till we found out the depot isn't open at night!
SASHA:Oh! That stupid Slowbro!
CHARLIE:Yeah... we had to wait till it finally open... at 6:00! Did the kids
have their breakfast yet or they are still in bed?
SASHA:Yeah, they had their breakfast, Charlie... They are out playing right
now. I'm just having mine. Want some?
CHARLIE:Do you have any killing sauce? I wanna fed it to Slowbro!
SASHA:Calm down, Charlie. Calm down.
(A pink mist appeared and took a form on Annabelle).
ANNABELLE:Charlie! Sasha!
CHARLIE:Annabelle! Whats the matter?
ANNABELLE:I'll explain it at the cafe...
*Flea Bite Cafe*
(Everyone, except Slowbro, were listening to Annabelle's story).
ANNABELLE:And thats it.. I need a surporter!
NINETALESUK:I have a few ideas. Firstly, we'll fight this campaign on issues
and not personalities. Second, we'll be the only fresh thing on the menu. And
thirdly, we'll need to choose a surporter.
LADY:Very tricky.
NINETALESUK:What we need is an utter unknown, yet someone over whom we have
complete power. A dog or a Pokemon with no mind, with no ideas of his own.
One might almost say, a dog or a Pokemon with no brain.
ANNABELLE:Any ideas, Ninetales?
NINETALESUK:Yes, I have one.
(Slowbro enters).
SLOWBRO:Hello everyone.
NINETALESUK:Meet the surporter!
COLLEN:Hes a perfect choice, Ninetales! A wonderful choice.
NINETALESUK:Thank you! Whats the ideas?
ANNABELLE:To start off, we'll need to know Slowbro's full name as Belladonna
got Carface's full name. What is your full name, Slowbro?
SLOWBRO:Well, Slowbro is my last name.. I don't know my first name...
DANIELLE:You must have some idea...
SLOWBRO:It might be Moron.
NINETALESUK:What?
SLOWBRO:You always say 'Don't be a moron, Slowbro'.
NINETALESUK:Okay, okay. Mr M. Slowbro. Now, roll on the important day!!!
*Town Hall of Dog Heavens*
(It is election night. The town hall that is in the heavens has been done up
with a few flags and things. The tiny stage is at the end with chairs.
Alakazam, the Pokemon reporter, is reporting on events. Outside, angel dogs,
devil dogs and Pokemon reporters were listening. Alakazam is a Psychic-type
Pokemon and holds a spoon in both of his hands for some strange reason. The
spoons are placed on a small table beside him and held a small pile of
papers).
ALAKAZAM:Good evening and welcome to the Heaven election. The first thing I
must tell you is that the turnout has been very good. As a matter of fact,
the voter turned out before breakfast. And I can now bring you the result of
our exclusive exit poll which produced a 100% result for (rustles
papers)...... 'Mind your own business, you noisy plonker'.
(A angel dog reporter calls up).
ANGEL DOG:Mr Alakazam, are you going to talk to any of the canididates?
ALAKAZAM:Yes, I certainly am. And I can see Annabelle now, who is leader of
what has come to be known as the Pikachu Party. With her is Charlie B. Barkin
and his wife, Sasha.
(Annabelle came up to Alakazam with Charlie and Sasha).
ALAKAZAM:Annabelle, hullo.
ANNABELLE:Good evening.
ALAKAZAM:And good evening, Charlie.
CHARLIE:Hi.
ALAKAZAM:Tell me, how do you see your prospects in this election?
ANNABELLE:Well, all I can tell you is voting Belladonna is a big mistake.
She'll bring chaos and harm to the beautiful places of our dear Heavens.
CHARLIE:Not to mention the angels.
SASHA:Yeah.
(Annabelle, Charlie and Sasha left).
ALAKAZAM:Fighting words from Pikachu Party. And lets have a word with the
Pikachu Party candidate, Mr M. Slowbro.
(Slowbro appears with a turnip in his mouth. Ninetalesuk, Shaina, Vult and
Vullen were next to him).
ALAKAZAM:Who so far has not commented on his policies in this campaign as he
hasn't finished the turnip he is eating for the past 2 hours as his friends
say hes a really slow eater as others say he doesn't have a clue how to chew.
But, with him is Mr. Ninetalesuk Fox and his girlfriend, Shaina La'Fleur.
With them is Mr. Fox's sister, Vullen Fox and her boyfriend, Vult, whom
doesn't know his last name.
NINETALESUK:We in the Pikachu Party are determined to fight this election on
issues and not on personality.
ALAKAZAM:Why is that?
NINETALESUK:Because our candidate doesn't have a personality.
ALAKAZAM:Maybe you can tell me one thing, why did you name your party Pikachu?
NINETALESUK:Vult...
VULT:You see, we wanted this party to name after something famous. We chose
Pikachu.
VULLEN:Pika! Pika!
NINETALESUK:Vullen... Hush..
ALAKAZAM:Fair enough.. And, can you answer another question?
NINETALESUK:Sure. What is it?
ALAKAZAM:What does the 'M' in his name stand for?
NINETALESUK:Moron.
(With that Ninetalesuk, Shaina, Vullen, Vult and Slowbro left).
ALAKAZAM:Fair enough-none of my business really. And it is now the time for
the results. Mr Fox assures me that with the evilness inside Belladonna, she
has no hope to get one vote... And, behind me-yes-I can see the acting
returning officer coming to the front of the platform.
(On the platform is Charlie, Sasha, Annabelle, Shaina, Vult, Vullen and
Slowbro on one side. Belladonna, Carface and Killer on the other side. Mr.
Mime and Abra, dressed silly, between and Gengar and Machoke were there as
well. Reading the results were.....)
NINETALESUK:As acting returning officer for the Heaven Election....
(Alakazam comments on the proceedings with quiet discretion).
ALAKAZAM:The acting returning officer of course, Mr N. Fox, and we're all
very grateful that he's stepped in at the last minute when the previous
officer is now taking a 2-month nap. No surprize there as he is a sleeping
Pokemon known as Snorlax.
NINETALESUK:I now announce the number of votes cast as follows. Hard-Knock
Machoke.
ALAKAZAM:Scaring The Lives Out Of People Just For Fun Party.
NINETALESUK:No votes.
GENGAR:Blast it! Blast it all!
NINETALESUK:Shaky Abra.
ALAKAZAM:Standing In The Back Dressed Stupidly And Looking Stupid Party.
NINETALESUK:No votes.
ABRA:Hooray! Hahaha!!!!
NINETALESUK:Carface Caruthers.
ALAKAZAM:Robotnik Party.
NINETALESUK:No votes.
BELLADONNA:What?! I can't belive this!
NINETALESUK:Mr M. Slowbro.
ALAKAZAM:Pikachu Party.
NINETALESUK:16, 472.
(A cheer from the crowd).
ALAKAZAM:And there we have it-victory for the Pikachu Party, a sensational
swing against the Robotnik Party! This is Alakazam, What-A-Crazy-World
Reporter.
*Flea Bite Cafe*
(Everyone was having a party. Annabelle looked through the results).
ANNABELLE:I can't belive no one has ever voted for the other 3 parties. Whys
that?
BESS:I asked some of them. Reason they didn't voted for Belladonna's party
because they ALL know shes evil and know what damage she'll do. For Mr.
Mime's party, they don't want to dress up stupid. For Gengar's party, they
don't wanna scare people.
ANNABELLE:Thank you, Bess.
NINETALESUK:But, this is a triumph for stupidity over common sense.
SLOWBRO:Thank you very much.
NINETALESUK:As a reward, Slowbro. Take a short holiday. Did you enjoy it?
Good.
(Everyone laughed at that little joke. Ninetalesuk sighed).
NINETALESUK:But, some guys want to have a little pay back.
SLOWBRO:Whats that?
NINETALESUK:This!
*1 second later*
(Slowbro was on a spit above a flame on Charleon's tail. He is a Charmeleon.
Shane and Ruby were doing the roasting).
NINETALESUK:But, we have won the battle!
SHANE:Thats right, Ninetales!
RUBY:I also know that glowing liquid will be dumped in Belladonna's home to
teach her a lesson.
NINETALESUK:Good!
SHAINA:Hurrah!!
NINETALESUK:Right!! Take Slowbro off the spit!
SLOWBRO:Hurrah!
NINETALESUK:Lets party!
CHARLIE:Yeah!
(It was a good night for all of them. And I would like to say this is the
shortest story I
have ever done!)
THE END. |
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POLITICS, WHAT A MESS!