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Фэн-Клуб ADGTH - Тексты -> Fan-Fictions (просмотр текста)

 Добавлен Charlie, 31.07.06, 01:56

By Ninetalesuk.

*Flea Bite Cafe*

(The business wasn't doing any good. Charlie, Sasha, Shane, Ruby, Gerta and Itchy were at the bar. There weren't any customers to serve. They were waiting for Ninetalesuk to arrive and tell them whats the problem. Then, Slowbro came in and closed the door behind him. There was a knock at the door).

CHARLIE:Come in.


(Slowbro went out, thinking he was going in. Charlie groaned and shook his head. Slowbro was being pushed back by Ninetalesuk, whom was followed by Shaina).

NINETALESUK:Back, you twit! BACK!


NINETALESUK:Right. Charlie, whats the matter?

CHARLIE:Didn't you heard it?

SHAINA:You mean that poodle outside playing rubbish songs, yeah why?

CHARLIE:SHES scaring away the customers! We don't know what to do to get rid of her!!!

NINETALESUK:Calm down, calm down. In order to get her away from the cafe, I'll get her with my subtle plan!

SLOWBRO:I can't see any subtle plan!

NINETALESUK:Slowbro, you wouldn't see a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on top of a harpsichord, singing "Subtle plans are here again!"

SLOWBRO:When did he appear?

NINETALESUK:He came on the 33rd of Monday(!) Now shut up!

(Everyone was silent till Ninetalesuk spoke up).

NINETALESUK:I got it! Why don't one of you go and ask the girl for a small meal and ask her to take her somewhere else? Why don't you use that idea?

ITCHY:We could, theres only one flaw.


ITCHY:Her songs are so weird and scary, we are too scared to face her!


(Ninetalesuk went over to the bar and grabbed a few straws and drew red on the bottom except one of them).

NINETALESUK:Heres the plan! You know in order to win by using these straws, when someone pulls a straw with red on the bottom, you win! I drew the ends of the straws red, one of them hasn't got red on the end. ONE of you'll be the loser to take that weirdo gal out! Got it? Good!

(Ninetalesuk held the straws out, his paw covered the ends of the straws. Shane was the first one. He gulped as he was the loser).

SLOWBRO:Wow! Talk about begginer's luck!

SHANE:You mean, loser's luck!

RUBY:Come on, Shane!

SHANE:Okay, okay.

(Sasha handed Shane a few bucks from the till).

SASHA:Take this, get a small meal and ask her to take her music AWAY from her!

SHANE:Got it!

CHARLIE:Itch! You go and follow, Shane! See how its all going.

ITCHY:All right, Charlie!

BESS:Better take Scamp and Ace with ya. I get the feelings somethings gonna happen.

SHANE:Oh.. what could happen?

CHARLIE:Belladonna making your mind going into Shaina's body and Shaina's mind going into your body?

SHANE:Yeah.... that could be it....


(This is another cafe for dogs but, not as popular as Sasha's cafe. Shane was facing the poodle named Coreena. Her fur was white and she held a 60s-like guitar. They were facing each other on the table. Nearby, 5 friends were nearby as well. Itchy, Bess, Scamp, Ace and Ruby, checking to see how its going).

RUBY:So far, so good.

ITCHY:Ya got that right!

SCAMP:Just as long as that Coreena doesn't sing, Shane is aokay!

(Back at Shane's table).

SHANE:So..... where did you come from?

COREENA:I came from France. Reason why I speak perfect English because my mother was English and my father was American. When I sang my beautiful songs, they went nuts. I had to leave home otherwise, they'll kill themselves.

SHANE:Did it work?

COREENA:Nah. They went upset when I left...

SHANE:They killed themselves?!

COREENA:Ha! You kidding? They haven't notice I have left yet! They must be still in those straight jackets in the hospitals right now...

SHANE:(Worried) Right.....

(At Ruby's table, they noticed Shane's worried statement).

RUBY:Something tells me that it isn't good...

ACE:Who told you?

*Flea Bite Cafe*

(Business was booming once again! Angel and Lady were looking after Sasha and Angel's pups while Sasha, Gerta and Shaina were doing business. Ninetalesuk and Charleon were on the other side of the cafe).

NINETALESUK:Ahh.... that was a brilliant of Shane! Now, all we gotta do is wait till our hero comes back!


NINETALESUK:I'm expecting to see Shaina's cousin, Arty Frank La'Fleur.

CHARLEON:The Irish Settler from Sydney of Australia thats owner is a Flying-type Pokemon trainer?


(Then, he saw Slowbro carrying a leash. On the end of the leash was a plank of wood).

NINETALESUK:Slowbro... what are you doing?

SLOWBRO:Well, Ninetales. I have decided to become a pirate!

NINETALESUK:Congradulations(!) Now, what are you doing?

SLOWBRO:I'm walking the plank!

(And while Slowbro walked away, Ninetalesuk and Charleon stood there quietly and slapped their heads. Angus came out of a room with a spanner in his paw and walked up to the bar where Charlie and Ashley were).

ANGUS:I did it! I did it!

CHARLIE:Good work, Angus.

ANGUS:Thank you, cousin!

(With that, Angus walked over to the door and waited. Charlie and Ashley looked at each other).

ASHLEY:What has he done?


(Sasha came over to Charlie).

SASHA:Charlie. I ran out of lemonade. Can you get some from the storage room?

CHARLIE:Sure, Sash. Sure.

(Charlie got up and walked over to the storage room. Then, Arty's voice was heard).


NINETALESUK:Ah! My old mate is here!

(Angus called out to Arty).

ANGUS:Arty! Arty! Ring the bell!


ANGUS:Ring the bell!


ANGUS:Just ring the bell.

ARTY:*Sigh* Okay, mate. Okay.

(Arty pressed the button and something happened. There was a bell chime playing the Irish national anthem. Angus walked over to a table, listening to the music, moved by it. Everyone in the cafe was surprised. Ninetalesuk was about to take a sip from his jug when the music played. An incredulous Charlie slowly came out of the storage room, in a shock. Arty came in as the song ended. Angus saluted).

ANGUS:Viva la Scotland!

ARTY:Wha.. What was that thing?

ANGUS:Och, brilliant, eh mon? Its called an Anthachime! It plays 36 different nations!

ANGEL:36 different nat....! Hes kidding us, isn't he?

CHARLIE:No, Angel. Nope! Hes not kidding. I can see it in his eyes.

(The pups were laughing their heads off).

BELLE:Hahaha!!! That was a good one!


(Arty walked over to Ninetalesuk and Charleon).


CHARLEON:If you are asking if Angus' chime-box is good. I think its cr....

NINETALESUK:(Cutting in quickly) How are you feeling, Arty?

ARTY:Fine, mate. How are you?

NINETALESUK:Oh, apart from hearing a corny joke from Slow-moron there and listening to a national anthem which is, Angus, IRELAND! NOT SCOTLAND! Apart from that, everything is fine!

ARTY:I heard about this poodle scaring away my cousin's costumers, is that true?

CHARLEON:Yeah! Ninetales took care of that!

ARTY:Really? How?



(Same location as it was, except Shane was bored to death and was making a tower out of chips).

COREENA:I don't know what my Uncle David could've possibly meant by life experience. . I've been to sleep-away camps... I even got on the wrong bus once. I had a goldfish who died.

SHANE:Suicide, was it?

(Corneea laughed).

COREENA:Oh you. (Suddenly gets a idea) Hey. (Plays guitar and sings) Oh you. Oh you. I'm glad I let you. I'm glad I know you. We're a two-two-two. And, we are choo-choo-choo.

(As Coreena was singing, some customers were leaving. Ace was panicing).

ACE:Red alert! Red alert! Shes singing!!!!!

(Shane quickly stopped Coreena playing her song. He was in a mess).

SHANE:Stop! Stop! C-Check! Ch-Check!

COREENA:Something the matter?

SHANE:Oh, nothing... nothing at all! You see, its just that all these people have heard your song and could sell it at some big recording company..

COREENA:Will they call it 'Goldie'?

SHANE:Nope... they will call it....... CHECK! 'Check' they will call it.

COREENA:Well, before I met you, I thought my life as no meaning. Your the only one who loves my songs, right?

(Shane gulped. He caught sight as Ruby, giving the 'Abort. Abort' signal. Shane sighed).

SHANE:Okay, Coreena, I don't know how to say this, so I'm going to choose my words very carefully. I think you're a psycho. I want to get as far away from you as I possibly can.


SHANE:I'm just not the guy for you. You need a guy who's happy, and perky all the time. Maybe a guy whose had part of his brain removed and he thinks he's a bunny, and you can go off and be bunnies together.

(When a waitress was passing by, Shane quickly called to her in a calm voice).


(Okay...... maybe not in a calm voice. At least he gets his check, mate).

COREENA:I-It sounds like you don't want to be with me.

SHANE:Oh. Its not that. I want to put you in a rocket and send you to Planet Weirdo!


(Shane sighed. Then, Coreena played her guitar again, starting at the wrong cord).

SHANE:Thats... a minor cord...

(Coreena started to sing another song... except this one sounded darker).

COREENA:(Dark singing) I wouldn't give you my heart. But, you trampled on my soul. You hurt me to the core. Your shallow. Your shallow. Your shallow. Look at that shallow boy.

(Around the resturant, except Shane, Ruby and the friends, everyone was dancing. Something is not right for Shane).

*Outside Resturant*

(Shane, Ruby, Itchy, Bess, Scamp and Ace arrived outside).

ITCHY:That went well, didn't it(?)

SHANE:Hey, that idea of mine went well didn't it? She isn't gonna be singing in front of the cafe, is she?

SCAMP:No... but, you did hurt her feelings.

ACE:Yeah... and THAT wasn't part of Ninetales' plan.

SHANE:It was a small back-up plan with a big fault!

ACE:What was the big fault?

SHANE:You complaining.

BESS:Well, lets head back to the cafe. I'm sure everything is going to be normal in a few weeks.

I'm sure Coreena will get over it.

(I don't think so....)

*Flea Bite Cafe. TIMELINE:2 weeks later....*

(The business was still booming for the past two weeks. Sasha, Shane and Gerta were serving customers. Ninetalesuk and Charleon were talking at one area of the cafe. Angel, Lady, Charlie and Ashley were looking after the pups while everyone was getting on their lives. Shane's nightmare started when Scamp and Ace rushed into the cafe, with a CD in Scamp's paw).

SCAMP:Shane! Shane! You know your life seems to be completed by having lots of friends, having a girlfriend and have your two sisters with ya?


SCAMP:Its over!

SHANE:(Confused) How come?

(Scamp handed the CD to Shane).

ACE:Do ya have a CD player?

SHANE:Yes, its behind the bar.

(Ninetalesuk, Charleon, Ruby, Sasha, Shaina and Charlie joined of whats going on. Scamp and Ace were at the front of the bar as Shane loaded the CD into the player).

SHANE:So, why do you say my life is over?

ACE:Look at the cover and you'll see.

(Shane looked at the cover of the CD box and gasped).

SHANE:Hey! Its Coreena! She put her music on the record? How did she do it so fast? Uncle David's Records. Oh yeah..

(Shane placed the box on the counter. Ninetalesuk picked it up to read the rest).

NINETALESUK:Hmm... 'Lyrics not suitable for children'. Whats up with that?


(Shane pressed play on track 2 and a song began. It was Coreena's 'Shallow' song with a beat in the musical background).

COREENA:(Singing) Your shallow. Your shallow. Your shallow. Look at the shallow boy!

(Shane pressed the stop button and sighed).

SASHA:Wow. Shes sounds angry...

SHANE:Ha! Yeah, ya know, theres millions of dogs in the world, this song could be anybody!

(Ninetalesuk glared at him as he read the song title of track 2).

NINETALESUK:Track no 2; Shane La'Fleur, this Song is About YOU!

CHARLIE:And, all signs point to you.

SHANE:Yeah.. yeah...

RUBY:You had to use your stinkin' back up plan, didn't ya? Shane-mah-boy.

SHANE:Okay, okay, so I made a little mess-up..

NINETALESUK:Mess up!? You mean a cock-up! Ya gotta talk to this girl! Shes gonna ruin your life!

SHANE:How she gonna do that? Its not like its on the radio, is it?

(Scamp sighed and went over to the CD player, tuning it to a radio station).

RADIO ANNOUNCER:You have tuned into FA-102.7. We have a new entry named Coreena. And, shes real angry at some pitiful creep named Shane La'Fleur. This chart could go out for 20 years.

(Coreena's 'Shallow' song went on. Shane sighed).

CHARLEON:At least theres an upside, Shane.

NINETALESUK:Tell me, Charleon. What IS the upside out of all of this?

CHARLEON:..... Hes famous.

(Ninetalesuk glared at Charleon, as the Charmeleon backed away and walked off).

*Flea Bite Cafe. Closing time*

(Charlie, Sasha, Itchy, Ninetalesuk, Shaina and Gerta were getting the customers out. Scamp and Angel were with their pups).

SCAMP:We're off home now, we'll see you guys tomorrow.


(As they were leaving, Skip pushed Belle).

BELLE:Hey! Why did ya pushed me?

SKIP:I did not!

BELLE:Did to!

SKIP:Did not!

BELLE:Did to!

SKIP:Did not!

BELLE:Did to!

SKIP:Did not!

(Scamp and Angel had to seperate them. Shaina sniggered).

SHAINA:You know, Skip and Belle are just like their parents.

SCAMP & ANGEL:We heard that!

(The others laughed as Scamp and his family left the cafe. Sasha sighed).

SASHA:So... hows Shane doing?

NINETALESUK:Shane is doing well as Sonic is fighting Robotnik!

ITCHY:Dr. Eggman?

NINETALESUK:No(!) I mean the hairdessers(!) Of course the Eggman!

(Ninetalesuk sighed and grabbed a cup, filling it after paying).

NINETALESUK:You know what! I must say the La'Fleur family is really famous! Sorry to mention this, Sasha but, if your parents were still alive and your other brothers and sister whom ever they are, I would say they have birthed 6 perfect kids!

(Sasha and Shaina blushed. Charlie groaned. Then, Shane came in with Ruby. Shane wasn't happy).

SHANE:Hey! I'm the the women-hating loser freak!

NINETALESUK:Okay..... 5 perfect kids....

(Shane sighed and sat on a table. Ruby sat beside him. Gerta came over).

GERTA:Coreena came out with a new song, huh?

(Bess came in the cafe, listening to the new song and singing it).

BESS:(Singing) Hes a freak! Hes a freak! Hes a loser freak! Hes a woman-hating loser freak!

(Bess walked over to Shane and took her headphones off).

BESS:I can't belive I'm friends with ya!

(With that, she puts them on again and walks over to the storage area).

SHANE:Man! I'm a jerk! Coreena was such a sweet girl and it would be wrong to break her feelings that she had before SOMEBODY sent me to take her out to lunch! (Glares at Ninetalesuk).

(Ninetalesuk smiled sheepishly and turned around to see Bess coming back in and headed towards the front door).

BESS:(Singing) And, he doesn't like girls because hes afride of them, afride of them! I think he likes boys if you know what I'm saying.

(As Bess left, silence was in the cafe. Except for Sasha, Shaina, Ruby and Gerta trying not to laugh for Shane's sake. Silence broke as Shane got up, angry).

SHANE:Okay, this chick is toast!

(Before anyone could calm Shane down, the Anthachime went on again playing the England theme. Charleon came in, holding a note).

CHARLEON:Stinking chime-box! It'll be playing the death tune when I'm through with it! Ah, Shane, do ya remember Coreena?


CHARLEON:Shes looking for ya, she gave me this note. She wants to see ya at the resturant. The same one that made you turn her into weirdo girl 2!

(Shane sighed and took the note from Charleon before heading over to the door, Ruby followed).

SHANE:I'll go and talk to her and get her back to normal.

RUBY:I coming with ya! If your idea doesn't work, I'm gonna say a few words to her.

(As Shane and Ruby left, Ninetalesuk muttered).

NINETALESUK:I'm hoping those aren't the words she gonna say to Coreena!

*TIMELINE:2 hours later*

(Ninetalesuk, Shaina, Charlie, Sasha,Itchy, Charleon and Gerta were still in the cafe. They all got up when Shane and Ruby came back in).

CHARLIE:Well? How did it go?

SHANE:Coreena came there, she said sorry for what she was doing. So.... its over!

She became a better dog yesterday.

RUBY:The new song Bess sang was released today. Coreena made that song before she changed.

SASHA:Thats good.

SHANE:She also sang another song but, not to do with me. Listen on the radio.

(Gerta walked over to the radio and turned it on).

RADIO ANNOUNCER:This is FA-102.7. We have another entry from that angry girl, Coreena, and this single is called...... Fuzzy Wuzzy Wa?

COREENA:(Singing) At a little downtown I live in, theres a little boy that I sure wanna cuddle.

(The music stopped suddenly).

RADIO ANNOUNCER:Wow! Thats bad! Shes over!

NINETALESUK:Ya know what. Theres one thing I like about rubbish music.

SHAINA:That it finishes?

NINETALESUK:Yeah. And I like this one as it took 2 seconds to finish.

(Everyone laughed).

SHANE:Well, at least nothing can get anyworse than this!

(Then, the Anthachine played the American tune. Charleon got up and walked towards it).

CHARLEON:Right! Thats it! I'm gonna play the death tune on that STUPID gadjet!!!!!!

(Ninetalesuk used a fake glare at Shane).

NINETALESUK:You were saying?

SHANE:So I was wrong... I was oh so ever wrong.

(They laughed again and Charleon bashed up the machine... What a ending(!))


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